Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
