he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
