She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
