She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
