Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
