she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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