I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
