I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
