I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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