Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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