That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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