If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
