just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I didn't notice because vodka
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
