I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
