remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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