Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
