I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
