just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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