Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
