I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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