Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
