We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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