you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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