oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
