he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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