Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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