There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
