For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
