you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
