Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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