Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
handjob tips. give me some.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
