We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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