sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
ugly people sure do ruin things
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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