Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
