Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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