I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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