Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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