you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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