started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
