Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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