Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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