you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
