I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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