So drunk its hurt
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
