Do you still have your period?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
