Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
