so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
