I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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