I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Randomize
