I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
