my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
