You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
