no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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